Are you an Eva?
We all have big plans about who we’re going to become when we’re young. We know exactly where we’re going to live, we know how long it’s going to take to get our super star status. Give or take a day or two, and we all know that we are going to succeed! At least we think we know.
I knew exactly who I was when I started out as a young twenty-something venturing out into the world. I was a pretty good musician who had won a lot of choir award thingies, plus I had been on Star Search, so I was certified! I went to college because people told me that I should. I even got a full ride scholarship and just like a young person who doesn’t know what they’re doing I lost it. I failed multiple finals at the end of my freshman year and that put me on academic probation. Can’t really have a scholarship if you’re not a scholar.
(Short story: My high school girlfriend broke up with me, and I chose not to study because I was “heartbroken”. To top it off God was playing some kinda joke on me. That day Brian McKnight’s song “One Last Cry” came out and it came out while I was driving home to cry to my mom about what had just happened. Anyways, I lost my scholarship. Ahhh kids. Don’t worry. My story gets better.)
Since I didn’t have a scholarship anymore, I left school to pursue a music career in the big ol’ L.A. I was going to get a record deal and tour the world! In my mind I was “that guy”. At least I thought I was. I moved to L.A. in my 85 Nissan Sentra and about 1500 bucks in my pocket. Despite not having any music industry connections or songwriting ability upon arrival I did end up landing a record deal and touring the world. Oh, but when that same guy turned forty-five… The older version of that guy felt lost with a capital L. Who Am I Supposed To Be Now? Was the continuous question.
So I bought a bunch of books on the subject and less than one of them resonated with me. Let’s just say I’m not an inevitable decline type of guy. That lack of resources and voices that felt like what I was looking for led to me going down the who did what I want to do rabbit hole.
After doing some research for my own journey and also this book, I found that there are three major types of midlifers. We don’t all fit into these neat little categories exactly, but we do come pretty close. Let’s find out which one you are starting with the “Eva” type.
Eva knew what she wanted to be when she grew up. She wrote it down in the back of her middle school yearbook and she signed it. “Eva the Great” one heart, a pair of xo’s and one smiley face.
Of course, her friends laughed at her big dreams and told her that her goals were unrealistic. They even had the nerve to say that she wasn’t the type of person who becomes a (Eva’s big career goal here).
“You should probably have a fallback plan,” they said.
Eva didn’t have a fallback plan. She was an Eva. She could be heard saying “My fallback plan is that I don’t plan to fall back.” Even back then she was a bit of a gangsta.
Eva went to college, got that career that she wrote about in her middle school yearbook and like Clara Villarosa, Eva became the BAWSE. More on Clara here in a minute.
Eva married Jayden, and two years later their little bundle of joy arrived. Despite their busy work schedules, Eva made sure that she was at every school play, basketball game, and field trip.
One day while Eva was going about her #MomBAWSE business, her bundle of joy David came up to her and said, “Mom, I know what I want to be when I grow up.”
A flood of middle school memories came rushing back to her.
“What?” She asked with anticipation.
“I want to be a pro-gamer!”
“Whomp to the WHOMP!” Eva thought to herself, but she didn’t say it out loud. She had her son’s dream to protect.
“That’s awesome, sweetie!” (That’s what she actually said.)
Eva gave her son David a big hug and the little guy bounced out of the room on cloud nine. Eva then hopped on Google to see what the heck the interwebs had to say about this pro-gamer thing.
To her “all-dreams-are-possible” surprise, she found that today’s video game playing kids were NOT at all like the dirty-T-shirt empty-pizza-boxes-all-over-the-floor gamers she remembered. These kids were the superstars of the online world. These young people were not only living their dreams – they were also making some serious money!
After reading a few articles about “Tai Benat” and “Mrs. Crease” (not their real names), Eva was ready to go all in with helping her little David make his dreams come true. She bought David a gaming computer and paid extra for the high-speed internet. She even took him to a couple gaming conventions.
(For any of you who don’t know, pro-gamers are now called “content creators”. They bougie now.)
With her help, David was making 80k as a “content creator” before graduating high school. Thanks, Mom!
Or…Maybe you’re more like an Alex.
Alex started their own business when they were young. They’re the go-to expert in their industry and things are go-to-ing great! They go out with their friends and unwind from their crazy work week doing things that they love. However, going out has started to feel kinda strange.
“When did I become the old person in the room?” they ask themselves.
Add the fact that they still have dreams of becoming a full-time musician, and you have the perfect ingredients for a midlife crisis.
At their 45th birthday party their quiet inside voice said, “Well Alex, it really is now or never. You’re forty-five. You owe it to yourself to at least try. The regret of not going for it ain’t it.”
“We HAVE to go for it – NOW!” their inner voice screamed over the out-of-tune singing of “Happy Birthday.” (The out-of-tune part was their words, not mine. They musiciany like that.)
(Fun fact: Also, on the free bonus download there is a surprising video about the average age of the top ticket selling musicians. Apparently concert goers like the older musicians. I shared that for the Alex’s on here. Check it out if you want.)
Maybe… you’re a Corey.
Corey is a single father. His daughter Aliyah got up from the kids table at the family reunion and proclaimed, “Dad! I know what I want to be when I grow up! I want to play professional soccer.”
Of course, the “Realistics” chimed in:
“Do you know the odds of becoming a pro soccer player?” said Aunt Jazzy.
“You should probably have a fallback plan.” Uncle Junior added.
The “Realistics” always got something to say when it comes to other people’s dreams! Corey quickly moved in for the counter.
“That’s great sweetie! You’re going to be the soccer GOAT! My little Marta 2.0!” he confirmed.
Then, after high school, Aliyah changed her mind. She decided that she didn’t exactly know what she wanted to do with her life – – which is fine because she’s freakin’ 18 years old. However, it did bum Corey out. Not because club soccer is a fortune, which it is, but because in a “Dad Superhero” kind of way, he felt like he had failed her.
“I should’ve been more aggressive in helping her fight out the “Realistics” and “Doubting Thomases.” He thought to himself.
“I should have worked harder to help his baby girl reach her dream. Is it my fault?” he thought. Either way, Corey found himself driving away from the women’s dorm with his baby girl in the rear view. Did he cry? Of course he did! Leaving your baby at college is kind of a big deal.
Whether you’re Eva, Alex, or Corey, this is the part of life where we all start to do some evaluating. This is the part where we all start to think… “What do I do now?”.
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What do you think? I hope that you enjoyed it. If you are then just click here and continue your journey! Also, if that link doesn’t work you can click this link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FW6CDYXT
Hope this helps you today my friend!
Troy Horne is a dad and a three-time best-selling author who’s sold over 297,000 copies of his books. He started his life as a professional musician, then became an entrepreneur, and the a Broadway star. His purpose in life is to help others see how their lives can be everything that they dream!
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